Look at this sweet face! Someone got glasses. It’s been a long time in coming – a face to face ophthalmology meeting wasn’t ideal during covid. We talked about this already, in a previous post. About how everyone else was getting on with life as if it was all back to the regularly scheduled programming, as if covid wasn’t even a thing.
Well, part of that is ophthalmology requested a pair of new glasses for Mikaere. Aaaand then the spectacle dispensary ended up being closed on alternate days (because covid). After weeks of trying to get an appointment, we were told it was closing temporarily. (My silence at hearing this could easily have been translated into WTAF). Which meant that our alternatives were to take Mikaere out to Islington (a good hour in the car) or to go into a store (with all the people not wearing masks).
Awkwardly, we chose a specsavers that was close by. We had our voucher and I was hoping for easy and local and swift. We were all wearing masks (including Mikaere, who was also behind his rain cover) and honestly, I was super anxious about the whole deal. But, we lucked out. The first visit was a dream.
There was only one person in there, who helped us pick out and fit glasses. He was happy to chat and share when he last did a lateral flow test (that morning, it was negative). He was wearing a mask and we watched him sanitise his hands before coming over to us, stopping a socially distanced appropriate distance away. We tried on a few (which was hilarious and actually, a fun bright spot), ordered a pair and went on our merry way.
Picking up was less delightful. There were more people in the store, who weren’t wearing masks. One, particularly ableist lady made sure to tell me what the government guidance was on masks if your double vaccinated, after I asked her to move out of the way because she wasn’t wearing a mask, and I didn’t want to walk by her. My response was mostly a string of profanities. I’m not the most eloquent when I’m sleep deprived and scared for my kids health, but can I please repeat for you – just because you’re double vaccinated means you can STILL get Covid. You can STILL transmit it to others – like Mikaere. Who can’t be vaccinated. For whom Covid would be disastrous. Recognise that the UK government doesn’t care about vulnerable people and that whenever possible – PLEASE STILL WEAR A MASK! Please still socially distance!
I was shaking after. Honestly, some people are just awful. We were lucky though, because the optometrist was by contrast, an absolute delight. Yannick, he introduced himself to us, and to Kai specifically. He was double masked, volunteered his last test information, wore gloves and an apron. He even made a point to tell me he was sorry for that lady, that he understood, even before I explained how vulnerable Mikaere was. He went a long way to making me feel better about humanity – even after my display of less than articulate obscenities.
And afterwards, we were able to go home, with a new pair of glasses that fit.
I’m finding it really hard to manage in this new world, where every stranger feels unsafe, like they might be a risk to Mikaere. They might have Covid, and they might pass it on and just – he’s so vulnerable. So so vulnerable. Trying to balance to risk between something as simple as encountering people at a specsavers and Mikaere’s need for glasses is just – it feels impossible. The bigger view is that obviously I’m trying to keep my son safe in a world that is increasingly less safe for him. Relinquishing that idea of control – that I can keep him safe – feels unnacceptable (it’s my job as parent to keep my kid safe!) and I just… it just feels like another thing. Just one of those awful things that happens when you parent a disabled kid – the world is unsafe for them and you can’t protect them, and that heartbreaking impossible feeling is… its our everyday right now.
Hey ho. Onwards we go! Now with glasses!